So, would you like to know what happens when I stay up really late to finish painting, whip up a blog post, and then shower before going to bed at almost midnight? And then get woken up at 6:30-something thanks to a certain 7-year-old scratching outside my bedroom door? I become an ogre. A full-blown, in-the-red-zone, exhausted and sleep-deprived monster. And the ones who bear the full brunt of it are usually those darling little children of mine. Who -- let's be honest -- try my patience on a good day. When I am overly tired and physically exhausted {thanks to a workout at the gym yesterday combined with a late night of PAINTING}, however, any patience I might have had for their issues and meltdowns goes completely out the window. Which is certainly no excuse, but I'm trying to paint an accurate picture of the morning.
As our morning unfolded, I was short-tempered and short-patienced with all of them, but I snapped with Ethan most of all. {He was using Grace's giant candy cane Christmas decoration to whack Sophie when she was being mean to Jane.} Thankfully I recognized my ogre-ness almost immediately, and once we were done with prayers and hugs during Scripture Time this morning, I gave him an extra hug and apologized before he left for school.
When I went upstairs after they left, however, I seriously started to cry when I walked into Ethan's room and saw not only his yellow prayer rock carefully placed upon his pillow, but a new picture of Jesus pinned to the opposite wall with the phrase "I'll Follow Him in Faith" inscribed underneath. He is a GOOD boy. I know that. And I also know that I have a tendency to be too hard on him and expect too much. But, I know his heart. He has always had a genuine desire to do what's right. It was a powerful lesson for me to see these outward manifestations of the state of that little heart. It was also a powerful reminder that these little souls who have been sent to me are the most precious thing I have. I am thankful that -- even on days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed -- Heavenly Father is mindful of me and loves me enough to remind me of what's really important.
Thank you, Ethan, for your sweet example.
4 comments:
What a nice, honest post. Thanks for sharing!
sweet boy. i love him. reminds me of how sweet and innocent they are.
So sweet.
This is the reason I love parent-teacher conferences. When I am getting fed up with the kids, it does me good to be reminded by someone on the outside that I really do have good kids who are kind and try to do their best and who know how to act around other people (even if they forget the moment they walk in the door). I just forget the overall goodness of them in the everyday moments that as mothers, we have to get through.
I wonder if that it an oldest kid thing, because I also find myself being harshest on Jill and expecting the most out of her and then having to remind myself that she is only five, and she is doing her best, and she is still going to be a bit of a baby sometimes.
I have had to apologize to my kids too many times to count, but at least I'm teaching them by example how to say sorry. Right? :)
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