-->Good morning sisters! I have been asked to speak to you today on “The Power of Women,” and I have to be honest – I have struggled mightily with this topic over the last few weeks as I’ve tried to determine what exactly I should say. Because in my mind, a phrase like “The Power of Women” is charged and loaded with the potential for incredible validation and inspiration on the one hand or controversy and offence on the other. Not to mention, there will always be those in whom this topic will trigger unnecessary feelings of failure or a possible flood of guilt that comes from feeling anything other than positive and upbeat about a subject that should be EMpowering to all of us.
And while I
think we can all agree that men and women are different, I think it’s just as
important to recognize that not all women are cast from the same mold
either. And when we lump all
womankind together, it can sometimes feel like a vast generalization and
over-simplification of who we really are.
The fact of the matter is, no two women are exactly alike. And because of these differences, it
can be tricky to navigate our role as a woman without feeling as though we are
losing our individual identity or that we are being pigeon-holed into a set
mode of behavior or class of thinking simply because of our gender.
It is my hope
this morning that we can build on our commonalities as daughters of our
Heavenly Father while still recognizing that it is through our different gifts
and unique abilities that we are able to accomplish the things the Lord would
have us do.
The full title
of the topic I was given for this morning’s address is: “The Power of Women: Feeling Confidence and Strength as a
Woman and a Force for Good in Church and Community Service.” In preparing my remarks, I turned to
the dictionary for help. Believe
it or not, there are DOZENS of definitions of POWER. As I’ve struggled to prepare my remarks for today, I think a
lot of my stumbling blocks have come from trying to define what is meant when
we speak of “the power of women.”
For the purpose of my message today, I’d like to zero in on the most basic and simplistic definition of power that I’ve found – namely, “the ability or capacity to DO something,” as well as another definition closely related which describes power as “a specific ability, capacity, or faculty.”
Perhaps it seems ridiculous to cover such a basic understanding of a single word, but as I have finalized my preparation for today’s talk, I have found that these definitions profoundly underscore the message that I hope is taken home with you today.Inherent in that first definition is ACTION. The description speaks of DOING something. In gospel terms, then, power comes when we use our agency to ACT and not to be acted upon. I strongly believe that any power we have is enhanced as we righteously use our agency.As I’ve been thinking over this topic for the last several weeks, there has been a single phrase that has come to my mind again and again and again. In fact, every time that I’ve been stumped or frustrated in trying to figure out what exactly I can say about the power of women, the same quote has popped into my mind.The quote comes from an address given by President James E. Faust to the Young Women during the Spring session of Conference in 2000. In speaking of the unique gift of femininity belonging to women, with its “natural grace, goodness, and divinity,” President Faust went on to explain exactly what that gift entails. The full quote – which has stayed with me for over a decade – reads: “Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity….It is your incomparable power and influence to do good.”
“Your incomparable power and influence to DO GOOD.” There are the power action words – Doing Good. Now obviously EVERYONE is capable of and should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, so let’s turn now to that second definition of power to understand what our specific abilities, capacities, and faculties are as women.When I turned this question over to the social media avenue of Facebook, I got a few different interrelated thoughts. First off, “Nurturing,” said one, “we may be more sensitive than men, but also more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others as well.” Another friend said, “We can teach those around us to serve no matter what we are doing in life.” A third friend shared this insight, saying, “Women have the capacity to nurture life. A lot of times we nurture feelings of guilt or inadequacy because we create a world of comparisons. Everyone has something to bring to the table. Some abilities/talents are more visible than others. Having an understanding heart, the ability to hold one’s tongue, the kindness to not pass on unkind words, the gift of being soft-spoken, etc. These are all just as important as being able to sing, or quilt, or bake. We can and should celebrate each person’s abilities and try to nurture our own.” And finally, another friend added the perspective that, “…we have been sent to this earth with the calling to build God’s kingdom. There is much work to do, and we each have unique gifts to carry out that work.” I love all of these thoughts! And did you notice how each of them revolved around ACTION??In Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s address in October conference of last year, he spoke of “The Moral Force of Women,” and taught: “Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and cultures.” In an Ensign article entitled “Women of Righteousness,” Elder M. Russell Ballard adds to our understanding with the following: “We believe in and are counting on your goodness and your strength, your propensity for virtue and valor, your kindness and courage, your strength and resilience. We believe in your mission as women of God. We realize that you are the emotional (and sometimes spiritual) glue that holds families and often ward families together.”I’m going to switch gears for a second here to share with you the following experience. A couple of years ago, for Christmas, our Relief Society presidency in St. Louis gave each of us a cheap, unmarked copy of the Book of Mormon with a challenge to choose a topic of study for the upcoming year and delve into it with our Book of Mormon.I did some pondering and praying and ultimately decided that the topic that was the most pressing to me at the time was a validation of the importance of women, and specifically mothers, in the scriptures. As I began my study that first night, however, something happened – while reading with my initial topic in mind, I felt strongly moved to switch my focus. I felt as if Heavenly Father was gently rebuking me with the message, “Don’t be ridiculous – OF COURSE you are important! You don’t need to worry about that. What you should be MORE concerned about is what kind of woman and mother you are.”
Now obviously, these are my own words and descriptions of what I felt. But I am certain that the inspiration to focus my efforts on what I needed to do to be a better woman and mother came from God. In my personal journal, I recorded a short note saying how good and satisfying it was to feel confident that this experience was an answer to my prayers for guidance.By relating this story to the topic at hand, I’d like to do the same kind of shifting for the remainder of this talk. Rather than focusing on IF we have any power or even what that specific power might be, I’d like us, instead, to simply accept the inherent power we have as women to be a matter of fact, and move on to the more important focus of how we can use our power to be a force for good in the world today.So how can we do this? How can we be a force for good in the world today? Well, chances are pretty high that you are already doing something. For as Elder Ballard has taught, “Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Every sister who strengthens and protects her family is doing the work of God. Every sister who lives as a woman of God becomes a beacon for others to follow and plants seeds of righteous influence that will be harvested for decades to come. Every sister who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God.”Elder Christofferson adds: “My plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral force that is in you…Your intuition is to DO good and BE good and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow.”I believe that our strength and confidence in being a force for good, comes as we seek the guidance of the Spirit and ACT on the promptings we receive. Our sphere of influence in this world is probably far greater than we even realize. In Sister Neill F. Marriott’s Conference message last month in the women’s meeting, she noted, “You carry a circle of influence wherever you go. It is felt by the people around you – from your family to the contacts in your cell phone and from your friends on social media to those seated next to you tonight. I agree with Sister Harriet Uchtdorf who wrote, ‘…you are vibrant and enthusiastic beacons in an ever-darkening world as you show, through the way you live your lives, that the gospel is a joyful message.’” While this may seem a daunting and overwhelming thought, I have a testimony that even if it seems as though we are only able to accomplish a few “small and simple things” in our lives each day, the Lord has promised that out of these small things shall “great things be brought to pass.”In D&C 64:33, we read, “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” I think that a lot of times as women, we feel as though we need to be part of some large-scale accomplishment in order for it to really count. Or maybe that’s just how I think. But as I look back on my own life, it is often the small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness and goodness that have touched my heart and influenced me the most.Acts of goodness such as those from the visiting teachers I had as a newlywed. I can’t remember a single thing they taught me, or even their names, but I still remember their impact. All they did was show up each month and linger longer to visit with me when I was missing the company of friends and old roommates who had graduated and moved away, leaving me happily married, but very UNhappily friendless.And then there’s the simple action of my seminary teacher my junior year of high school who showed by her example that she took her calling seriously. Every single morning she was prepared, ready to teach, and dressed in her Sunday best. At the time I remember thinking it was a bit odd and even unnecessary to go to that much trouble to get all dressed up so early in the morning for a bunch of teenagers, but as I look back on that example, I am touched by the seriousness with which she took her calling. Her outer appearance was a reflection of her inner commitment and desire to do her job well. She recognized that teaching the gospel was important and she acted accordingly.And finally, I’ll never forget the love and compassion I felt from a kind sister who asked a simple and sincere “How are you?” one evening after I had received some very difficult news. Being a naturally guarded and reserved person, I would have given a brief response of “fine” to almost anyone else who may have asked, but seeing the look of care and concern in her eyes was enough to open the floodgates for me that night, and the torrent of emotions I had been holding in came flooding out as she kindly stood there and comforted me.None of these things are big. But they have all made a lasting impression on me. I’m sure that each and every one of you here today would be able to recount similar stories as well. In trying to come up with more examples than just my own, I asked my friend, Rachel, if she would be willing to share any small acts of kindness or goodness or influence from her own experience that have had a lasting impact on her life. She kindly obliged, and I’d like to share one of those stories with you, too.These are her words: “When we lived in Puerto Rico, we initially started attending the English ward in San Juan. After several months, we felt that we should start attending our Spanish ward that we lived in and soon Dave was called into their bishopric. I could understand Spanish, but I could probably only speak about 10 words a minute. Ha. So they asked me to play the piano which worked well since it was easy for me and they desperately needed a pianist. However, Dave was on the stand, and Andrew was a couple months old and I hardly even knew anyone’s name. But there was one sister, Daisy Landron, who became Andrew’s ‘abuela.’ She greeted us each week with such love and a smile that radiated warmth. I can hardly even remember ‘talking’ to her since our communication was so strained, but I will never forget the love she had for me and my family. With almost no words exchanged, and a very small act of watching my child while I played the piano, her impact was so powerful that I am overwhelmed with love every time I remember her.”Isn’t that such a powerful example of love and kindness? When I texted Rachel asking for her help, I told her the concept I was going for was that we don’t have to do anything big or grand or large scale to have an influence on those around us. In her emailed response back to me, I loved this simple line in the opening paragraph where she wrote: “Thinking back on these and the many other small acts of kindness or service shown to me by others, it is interesting how emotional I get over these little things.”Sisters, it is the little things we do each day that make up who we are. The scriptures teach us that “light cleaveth unto light.” As we pray, study the scriptures, and seek to know God’s will, we will be blessed with a greater abundance of His light, and an enhanced capacity to develop our talents and use our gifts to share that light with others, and, as Elder Ballard has said: “to be beacons and banners to the entire world, and to show the women and men of the world that women have a natural disposition to do good and seek after the things of the Spirit.”
We don’t need to feel overwhelmed, or overburdened to do EVEN MORE than we are already doing. As we prayerfully seek the guidance of the Spirit, the Lord will help us determine the best way for us to share our goodness. The Savior Himself said, “Ask and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you…” As we act according to His directions, we will be empowered to DO good and to BE good.One of the last things I did as I was preparing for this talk was to do a Google search for the term “Powerful Women.” I was curious to see what would come up and was surprised to discover “Rosie the Riveter” as the first image to appear.Rosie the Riveter is a cultural icon in the United States, created as a bit of wartime propaganda, representing scores of American women who worked in the factories during WWII. Now, if we cast all political and social connotations to the side here, and strip this symbol down to its essence, what we have is the image of a woman who stepped up in a time of need.I quite like that interpretation. In this way, Rosie the Riveter becomes a symbol for all women everywhere who have ever stepped up to fill a need – no matter how great or small.I want to close by reiterating once more that each of us has an “incomparable power” and “influence to do good.”
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