Practice Makes...Progress

{This picture was surreptitiously taken during our very last "practice" before the real thing.}

Time for an update!  I know everyone is waiting with bated breath to know the results of our Reverence Practice this past week. Hahaha.  Well, after an exceptionally rocky start, it went much, much better than it has in Sundays past!  And that's a good thing.

By Saturday night, we had worked our way up to 15 minutes of sitting and being still.  We continued to play Conference talks for each of our practice sessions, and made sure the kids had notebooks, The Friend magazines, pens, pencils, etc. to help keep them quiet and occupied.  As you can see from the picture above, everyone was in a MUCH better place by the end of the week than they were at the start.  Wonders never cease, and GRACE was easily the most cooperative and reverent child throughout the week.  What can I say?  She's our ever-surprising surprise.  Hahaha.

Unfortunately, we had a few things stacked against us as we arrived at church yesterday.  First of all, the only pew we could get was a lot closer to the front than I would have liked.  Second of all, Ethan refused to bring anything with him to help him stay reverent.  And finally -- and MOST unfortunately -- Grace had been up since 3 o'clock that morning thanks to some growing pains in her legs.  DOH!  She gets them every now and then, but this is the second time it's happened in the last week and a half and it was just really bad timing.  I stumbled into her room and rubbed them for a bit before going back to bed, but there wasn't any ibuprofen left upstairs (which is what I usually give her when this happens), and the end result was that she woke me back up around 4 saying she couldn't fall asleep and could she please just go downstairs and watch something on TV.  Well, folks -- I'm only human, and I was REALLY tired {and slightly out of it} so I told her to do whatever she needed to do because I needed to sleep.  It wasn't until we were sitting down at church that I realized that she had NEVER fallen back asleep even after she came down.

As sacrament meeting started, I had already had to switch places 2 different times with different children, and as Grace started insistently demanding to go home because she felt sick, I was seriously about to cry because nothing was going according to plan! Then, Sophie started freaking out because she didn't want to sit next to Jane, Alex kept asking to go and get some water, and Grace ended up laying down in my lap and taking up half the bench.  Things were definitely not off to the greatest start.

THANKFULLY, things finally settled down -- after playing musical chairs once more to move Sophie to the opposite end of the pew -- and, overall, the kids did a heck of a lot better than their historical record has shown.  Over the course of the meeting: I managed to distract Grace and snap her out of her "sickness" using a notebook, a pen, and my Grace-whispering skills; Ethan minded his own business rather than everyone else's {for the majority of the time}; Alex only need to be taken out twice; and Jane managed to make it through almost the whole thing before being hauled outside and into a Primary room!  A trip to the "boring" room helped to convince both of the little ones that the chapel was the place to be, and in the end I'd like to think that we have made a giant step forward in our ongoing quest for reverent behavior.

And that is that.  Our attempt at reverence practice for Family Home Evening tonight was quickly abandoned after a kerfuffle amongst the kids -- Ethan kicked Grace causing her to crash into Sophie, conking both their heads in the process -- and basically it was just a rough FHE.  Oh well, you can't win them all!  Reverence practice will resume tomorrow.  Let's hope that next Sunday will bring us one step closer to perfection.  :)

Flashback Friday -- A Cake Walk

As the years have gone by, one little tradition that has crept into our family is that I usually make a special cake for the birthday child on their big day.  It all started with Grace's 2nd birthday when I decided she would really like an Elmo cake, and the tradition continues to live on.  Haha.  I'd like to say I've come a long way since then, but to be honest, my efforts are still hit or miss.  {I'll let you be the judge and jury as to which are which.}  Enjoy the following {cake} walk down memory lane...

 The one that started it all -- featuring more red food coloring than actual icing.

 One of my favorites -- so adorable for all it's simplicity.

 {Technically not a birthday cake -- I made it for a cub scout thing -- but Alex really likes to look at it and request it for his birthday cake.  You know, when he isn't requesting a superman one, or a batman one, or a captain America one, or -- his latest -- a power rangers one.  Hahaha.}

 Another one of my faves -- Jane's love of rainbows has rubbed off on me.

 The traditional 1st birthday cake.  This one is Alex's, but each kid's first cake has been the same -- a yellow cake with homemade chocolate butter cream frosting served on the same red and yellow plate that I painted at Color Me Mine a long, long time ago.

 This one could be my very favorite of them all.  I really nailed it with this one.  Hahaha.  :)

And to end, the most recent.

There you have it!  Feel free to steal any ideas that tickle your fancy.  :)  Have a happy weekend!

Runner's World

One of the things I love most about running is how metaphorical it can be.  When I ran my half-marathon a couple of years ago, for instance, it was totally symbolic to me of my ability to do hard things.  I blogged about it then, but the thing that has stuck with me the most since that time is how doing that specific hard thing was representative of all the other hard things I was capable of doing in my life.  That whole experience training for and running in the race produced this amazing synthesis of body, mind, and spirit.

As I've been running more and more lately, the actual physical work of it might not always be fun -- and there are still many times when I'm really tired and would much rather stay home and do nothing -- but I can't help but feel that same synthesis brewing.  There are so many life lessons to be learned in the simple act of running.

There's this one miniscule little hill that I have to go up when I'm running one of my neighborhood loops and every single time I go up it, I'm reminded of the same thing.  The best way for me to get up that hill is if I slow down and take smaller steps.  How symbolic is that??  When life gets hard, slowing down and taking baby steps will almost always get us to where we need to be.  It's not always necessary to make things harder for ourselves when the circumstances are already hard enough.

One more big thing I've learned from running, is that you never know what you're capable of until you try.  Just this morning, I was totally looking for an excuse not to run.  It was hot outside, I was getting started later in the morning than I wanted to, I just ran yesterday, I was tired -- you name it, and it had probably run through my mind as a reason not to go.  But then, I saw a friend post a picture after running a personal best this morning and decided I wanted to rise to the challenge and see what MY personal best could be.  And you know what?  I smashed it.  Hit it out of the park.  Completely and totally killed it out there on the road with the very fastest mile I've ever run in my life. 

Bam! What???

A sub-9-minute-mile.  AND, even though, I had to stop and walk to catch my breath for a few minutes after that frantic, racing pace, I still went on to finish with my fastest recorded 5K time -- 30:41.  {All you hardcore race runners out there, don't laugh at me!}  So there you go.  Another life lesson learned.  Happy running!

{And just for comparison's sake, I usually run close to a 10 minute mile with longer runs averaging about 10 1/2 minutes per mile.  So, really -- I was completely and totally shocked when I saw my time!}

Birthday Extravaganza

Ladies and gentleman, we have an 11 year old!!!  It's hard to believe but true.  And since he kind of got the short end of the stick LAST year with his birthday -- you know because it was the day before we moved -- I wanted to make EXTRA sure that there was nothing about this year's celebration that could be held over my head for the next year to come.  Hahaha.  Because even though we tried to make things fun for him last year and took the whole fam to Bounce U for his big day, he still maintains that it wasn't a real birthday because I never took the kids shopping to pick out all their presents for him.  {Although, let the record show -- I did get around to that eventually.  In November.  Once I realized it was still bothering him from the summer.  Hahaha.} 

This year was packed with fun and celebration and presents from sun up to sun down.  And Scott even took the day off to play!  {Although this will probably backfire and now EVERY kid will demand that dad stays home on their big day.}  He was originally planning on taking him to the amusement park for the day -- hence the taking a day off work to go mid-week when the lines aren't as crazy -- but since Ethan and Grace already did that last Saturday with Scott, we didn't think it seemed necessary or budget friendly to take the whole family this time like we had originally planned. 

Ethan agreed to settle instead for a movie outing to see "How to Train Your Dragon 2" and, as a bonus, I threw in some Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast and some Domino's for dinner.  Two of his favorite things.  Haha.  We also wrangled out another trip to Target for birthday presents once the movie was over and I whipped up his requested Clash of Clans cake for the grand finale of the day.  All in all, I'd say it was the best day EVER for him!  Especially since he also had unlimited electronics usage as well.  What can I say?  A birthday comes but once a year.  :)

Join us as we document his special day...

 Nom.

 Scott made the donut run for me and came back with THIS assortment of donuts.  Huh?  What??? Only 3 chocolate sprinkle donuts??  And jelly-filled ones??  What the bunnysauce?  Hahaha.

 Ethan's thinking the same thing.  Haha.  J/K.  He was pretty happy just to come down to some Dunkin' Donuts.

 Early Bird Matinee!  You know it.  And it still cost too much for what we got out of it.  I spent half my time going in and out of the theater with Alex, and Scott was stuck with Jane.  In the end, I took Alex out to the lobby and he spent the last 20 minutes of the movie watching Power Rangers on Netflix on my phone.  So, you know -- definitely worth the $11.25 for the two of us.  Not!

 So exciting!

 Waiting for the movie to start!

 Creating the shield and letters for the Clash of Clans cake out of melted white chocolate chips.  It was such an awesome idea in theory.  In actuality, the execution did not end up matching what I had envisioned in my head.  Therefore I was extra aggravated by the time this cake was done.

 Not my best work, but Ethan seemed happy enough.  {There's an "11" on the shield for his age and there were supposed to be arrows stuck in the shield, too, but I couldn't get them to work.  It's complicated.}

 Sophie made the cute "Ethan" banner to hang in the doorway.

 He looks pretty happy, right??

 Checking out the sparkler candles.

 Making a wish.

 First gift of the night -- iTunes gift card from Alex.

So happy for Ethan!

 And not so happy.  Once Alex realized all the presents were for Ethan and none were for him, it was a sad, sad time.

 Piece de resistance -- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on CD.  He and Grace have been listening to the first book every night at bedtime and I figured it was time to throw something new into the mix.

Digging into that cake and ice cream!  And just for those who are wondering, Ethan also scored some silly string, a rocket launcher thing, and the game Telestrations that they played all Christmas vacation long at the cousin's house. 

And there you have it!  A successful day.  I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that, today, Ethan was the happiest I've seen him in a very long time.  It makes my heart happy to see that.  Thank you and goodnight!  :)

The Beginning

Eleven years ago right now, I was lying in a hospital bed in Oregon waiting for Ethan to make his grand appearance.   Here's how this journey through motherhood all began...

 Off to the hospital -- 24 June 2003

Eugene, OR

Bright and early on the morning of June 24th, Scott and I headed over to the hospital to be induced with our firstborn in the wilderness.  Hahaha.  I was due on the 30th, but our doctor was going out of town and we really wanted him to be the doctor for the delivery.  I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, but I was really nervous about having the baby and we felt confident in Dr. QB's hands.  So, an induction for the 24th was scheduled.  Part of the reason we wanted the same doctor for the delivery that we had seen throughout the pregnancy was because I had developed a condition called polyhydramnios early on and was measuring a lot farther along than I actually was by the very end.  We were worried about Ethan getting any bigger and thus making things more difficult, so we went ahead and scheduled the induction and hoped for the best.  At this point in time, I was already 3cm dilated and 65% effaced, so we thought everything would go smoothly and quickly once we were there.

Unfortunately, we thought kind of wrong.  While the majority of the day was low-key enough -- Scott and I were even quizzing each other with Trivial Pursuit cards at one point -- the night turned dramatic as the hours wore on and the real work of pushing began.  At this point, my epidural had started to wear off and Ethan was not budging at all.  To be quite honest with you, it was the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced in my life.  The pushing started around 10 that night and as we ticked past midnight, we eventually reached a point of now or never -- never meaning I was not going to push this baby out and we'd need an emergency c-section instead because his vitals were starting to suffer.  We opted for one more last-ditch effort before going under the knife, and -- in true Ethan fashion -- he continued his resistance until the very end when he was finally born via vacuum extractor after 2+ hours of pushing. 

 Look at that cute little conehead!

It was 12:24 AM on June 25, 2003 that Ethan officially made his appearance.  I was seriously in so much pain and so traumatized by the whole delivery that I honestly wasn't thinking about the baby at all by the time he finally came out.  Isn't that horrible???  As soon as he arrived, the nurses rushed to check him out and even though I was surrounded by a personal fog of trauma, I'll never forget the first time I heard his precious little plaintive cry.  It was seriously so cute.  I literally had the thought, "I could NEVER get tired of hearing that sound!"  Hahahaha. 

The rest of the hospital stay was a bit of a blur that continued on in the same vein as the delivery.  We discovered that Ethan had broken his collarbone at some point during labor and delivery -- which was probably what made the pushing so prolonged and difficult -- and even though I had been set on nursing him exclusively, it wasn't long before I realized that it was a lot harder than it looks and that every position I tried to hold him in seemed to hurt him due to his injury.  To cap it off, he also had a giant, oozing hematoma on the top off his head from the vacuum extractor and I was an emotional, hormonal wreck who was also experiencing the physical pain and injury of recovery after childbirth. 

I will never forget the nurse who came in on one of those nights and was the truest angel of mercy possible as she hugged me and told me that Ethan would be TOTALLY fine if all he ever had was formula.  I can't tell you the relief I felt and the burden that was temporarily lifted once I realized that I didn't have to nurse him.  {Although, I also can't tell you how much of a failure I felt for MONTHS afterward that I gave up on trying before I had even left the hospital.} 

 He was also a bit jaundiced and had to spend some time under the bili lights.

 Cute little Amy with baby Ethan.  She was 12 that summer and I'm sure the birth was traumatizing for her as well as she waited with my mom in the hall outside our hospital room and listened to my screams and cries.  Yikes.  Sorry Amy!

 Going home day!

It was several days before my extreme weepiness and emotions subsided, but as I look back and think on that period of time, my heart aches for the newly made mother that I was.  I remember feeling absolutely and positively betrayed by every single woman I had ever known who had given birth and failed to give me a heads up that it could be this terrible.  I was in so much pain -- physically, thanks to a 2nd degree episiotomy that left me unable to comfortably sit on a flat, hard surface for SEVERAL months after the fact; and emotionally, as I dealt with my feelings of failure for not being able to nurse, my despair over my drastically altered physical appearance {rudest wake-up call EVER to realize that the 50 pounds of pregnancy weight gain wasn't all baby}, and my overwhelming loneliness at being home by myself all day, every day, with no one but a newborn to keep me company.  In looking back, I'm certain that I was experiencing post-partum depression but I clearly didn't realize what was happening at the time.

 I love and I hate this picture.  

 I love how tiny and perfect and cuddled up Ethan is as he slept on my chest here on his first day home from the hospital.  I hate that whenever I look at this picture, all I see is ME -- tired, emotionally drained, and cartoonishly ballooned in size -- rather than the sweet and tender moment of mother and son home together at last.  When Ethan was looking at these pictures earlier this evening, he didn't even recognize it was me.  "Who IS that?" he asked in complete and total sincerity.

 Was he cute or what???

 Classic newborn and exhausted-first-time-father shot.  So precious.

Sweet little snuggle puppy.

If I could, I would travel back in time to that version of myself and give me a big hug.  I'd grab me by the shoulders, look me straight in the eye and say, "You can DO this.  You can do hard things."   Because it's true.  I've come a long way over the last 11 years.  I know I am stronger.  That's what happens when you do hard things -- you become stronger.  You become better.  Hopefully Ethan will one day realize that I'm a better woman because of him.

First Sunday at church -- Ethan was 11 days old.

Happy almost birthday, Ethan!  I love you so much and I'm so glad you are in our family!!!