Twenty Questions

Sometime towards the end of last summer, I read a NY Times article entitled, "The Family Stories That Bind Us."  As someone who has always been drawn to family history, I was intrigued by the results of the studies that were referenced in the article.  The basic premise states that children who have a strong family narrative are more resilient when facing challenges and stress.  According to the author, "the single most important thing that you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative."   Researchers developed a measure called the "Do You Know" scale that asked children to answer 20 questions related to their family that they couldn't possibly know firsthand.  This scale turned out to the be the single greatest predictor of the children's emotional health and happiness.  

I was absolutely fascinated by this article!  And, of course, as soon as I was done reading it, I quizzed my kids ASAP to see just how much they have absorbed over the years of family lore and history.  I was surprised to see how much they actually DID know, but even more importantly I was inspired to begin a "Family History Project" to make sure that my kids really DO know where they come from.  And to know that even when hard times hit us, we can still make it through to the other side.  

We started to create a giant family tree on a roll of banner paper back in the Fall, but it eventually bit the dust and the project fell through the cracks.  This last Sunday at church, however, as I was filling in as a Primary teacher and pianist, I got to hear the lesson during Sharing Time and it was on Family History.  And then, once we got home, as I was looking through various Friend magazines for pictures that the kids could cut out and play with, it seemed as though my eyes landed on page after page with a story or message about Family History on it!  After a certain point, I got the hint and excitedly told the kids that I felt like I was getting a prompting that we needed to start working on our Family History Project again.  Haha.  Some were less enthused than others, but in the end, I managed to pull Ethan away from everyone else {on whom he was mercilessly picking} and forced him to "help" me re-do the family tree and laminate some pictures and notes that we had gathered already from various family members. 

Our work in progress!

Ideally, I'd like to eventually have pictures for every family member listed on the tree and stories or facts to go along with all of them.  Right now we have the majority of my immediate family covered and a little bit of Scott's, so, clearly, we have a ways to go. :)  My hope is that as we work on this project together, we really WILL grow stronger and more resilient as a family; that our children's hearts will be touched as they turn to their predecessors and see where they come from and gain a greater understanding of who they are.  Because family is important.  And I want kids who see that.  

{So, p.s. -- Any family members who read this blog and want to email me stories or pictures from their lives, or pictures and memories of parents or grandparents, we would love to have them!}

{And p.p.s -- In case anyone is curious, here are the 20 questions of the "Do You Know" scale.  The source was quick to point out, however, that it's not necessarily the KNOWLEDGE of these answers that makes kids stronger.  It's more in the process of HOW that knowledge was imparted that creates families with a strong narrative and kids who have the ability to bounce back better when faced with adversity.  Correlation does not prove causality as any scientist can tell you.  :) }

The Do You Know Scale

1. Do you know how your parents met?
2. Do you know where your mother grew up?
3. Do you know where your father grew up?
4. Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up?
5. Do you know where some of your grandparents met?
6. Do you know where your parents were married?
7. Do you know what went on when you were being born?
8. Do you know the source of your name?
9. Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born?
10. Do you know which person in your family you look most like?
11. Do you know which person in the family you act most like?
12. Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger?
13. Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences?
14. Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school?
15. Do you know the national background of your family (such as English, German, Russian, etc)?
16. Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young?
17. Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young?
18. Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to?
19. Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to?
20. Do you know about a relative whose face "froze" in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough?