Yesterday evening, I experienced one of those moments of pure joy that was talked about in Conference. In the day-to-day mundanities of life there are many moments of frustration, aggravation, sadness, anger, and even indifference. But peppered throughout, there are moments of complete and utter happiness and contentment -- joy. After dinner, as we all played outside, the weather was warm enough, and there was sunlight enough, and there was no fighting or fussing or shrieking or teasing. Only the happy sounds of children at play while Ethan played basketball with Scott, and Grace drew with sidewalk chalk with me as I watched Sophie crawling happily about -- pleased to be outside with the big kids, I think -- and I felt that moment of contentment so tangibly that I knew it was a gift from Heavenly Father that I need to hold close to my heart for the days when everything seems to go wrong.
I think I may have mentioned it once or twice before (hahaha), but Sophie was a nightmare of a baby. Her first year and a half of life aged me at least 5 years. Between colic, eczema, allergies, and neediness, she was (and kind of still is) one high-maintenance child. Throw in a husband in grad school and 2 other LITTLE children (they really were so little) and I was experiencing many a moment of frustration, aggravation, and stress during that time. Being a mom is hard. Especially when you're never sleeping -- which was pretty much the case for the first 6 or 7 months of life with Sophie. As I was reading over my journal the other night, I came across this entry and realized how applicable it still is today. Life is hard. But it is also good. I tend to shy away from the super deep and serious on this blog -- because I'd really rather laugh than cry -- but when those moments of joy come (and sometimes they seem few and far between) I want to be able to remember and hold on to them.
Easter 2008
[And seriously go back and read Elder Ballard's talk from that Conference. It is so good.]
4 comments:
i really think you were inspired to post this - just for me. thank you! husband has been gone for work all week, baby hasn't been sleeping, kids fighting. yeah. you get the picture. being a mom is so hard. i will re-read Ballard's talk. thanks.
and that picture is awesome. :) way to capture real life.
it IS hard, isn't it. we've been having a super rough time at nights with alex and jane lately and reading over this journal entry helped me to keep things in perspective. hope you guys are doing okay!!
I'd rather laugh than cry too, but sometimes ya gotta! (Or at least I do!)
Those are the kids I remember! Our Will is like your Sophie was...super high maintenance, not a good sleeper still at all (teething will be the death of me!), and not at all interested in weaning...still. But super cute which is I guess the real reason he's still alive. :) Even though you say those were hard times, you always seemed to have it so together, so you fooled me!
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