With Sophie's birthday yesterday, I've been reflecting a lot on her first beginnings. Seeing as to how she was the very first child to be documented on this blog from birth on up, many of you may remember what those first few months of Sophie's life were like. For those of you who don't, here is an excerpt from my journal from when she was about 2 months old:
Sunday, 1 April 2007 --
"TIRED. That pretty much sums up my life right now. Sophie is a
sweetheart and I love her, but she's definitely not the easiest baby in
the world! She gets a little colicky every now and then, and needs to
be held quite a bit which is challenging with two other little kids."
Poor little eczema girl. :(
Understatements of the YEAR up there. Hahaha. For as much of a realist as I pride myself on being, I was clearly trying to fool myself here. I was so hopeful that it was just a phase and wouldn't last too much longer that I resisted telling it like it was for the longest time. At the back of my mind I was also worried that if I admitted exactly how hard she really was, everything would start to spiral downward and become even HARDER. Even in my
personal journal, the only hint of trouble I gave was that she was "...
a little colicky every now and then." HA! I don't know why it took me so long to be able to admit out right that Sophie was just plain difficult, but it did. My life was a living nightmare for the first 6 months of her life and only slightly less nightmarish for the following 6-12 months. Poor little thing. Not only was she colicky, but she had major acid reflux {
projectile vomiting ALL the time}, head to toe oozing rash eczema, and {
as we started finding out around the 6 month mark} MAJOR allergies. Not to mention she NEVER slept for longer than like 2 or 3 hours at a time.
She always had socks on her hands to keep her from scratching at her itchy skin.
Compounding all the difficulty was the fact that Scott was in school, we moved across the country for a 3-month summer internship when she was only 3 months old, and our neighbors in our apartment complex HATED us {
with our loud children and crying, screaming baby at all hours of the night}. Oh, because did I mention? I also had a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I really don't know how I survived under all the stress and lack of sleep. I think I must have had angels watching over me. Seriously. I remember looking in the mirror a few different times during that summer and thinking that even my
skin looked tired. That poor little lamb aged me about 10 years over the course of those months.
Luckily for all of us, things eventually started to look up. By the time she was about 18 months old, she was pretty much the funnest, cutest, feistiest little toddler on the block. And now she's 6 years old. She can still be a tempest in a teapot, but when she is happy, she is the bubbly-est, sparkling-est, brightest ray of sunshine you will ever see. And even though she still has allergies {
although not as many} and asthma as well, she is SOOOOO much easier to take care of that it's practically a piece of cake. And that's saying something. Hahahahaha.
4 comments:
I had forgotten about the socks on her arms. I just teared up completely looking back at that poor helpless little baby and how you were, literally, a nurse and took such good care of her through so much illness. Your description of her perky, sparkly self was perfect. I love (and will miss) that sweet helium voice of hers. And I can't help but think that she got her strength from you Jessica. She is so strong through difficult situations and deprivations because of her allergies. You and Sophie are my HEROES!
oh, jessica....
oh, jessica...
i dont know HOW you handled this. you were absolutely surrounded my angels to get through this.
i was devastated just by henry under bili-lights for a week - sophie's skin, eating, screaming and collick doesnt even compare! How difficult.
well, like we always say about our life's events and trials, and experiences...it has made us into who we are today. and this experience has truly made you even stronger, nuturing and loving.
love you lots big sis! i always look up to you!
I am seriously freaking out reading this. That sounds sooo hard. Like Emily, my baby was under the bilirubin lights and that was more than enough for me.
love the honesty. and totally GET it. about you not wanting to even admit it to yourself. i was the same way. Jake was a really hard baby for the first 4 or 5 months too. but he was my first, so i didn't quite realize how hard. it was my mom and mother in law who kind of clued me in that he was difficult. but he had horrible acid reflux, barfed 50 times a day, wanted to nurse 24/7, cried a lot, etc. i remember just being so tired. and counting the minutes every day until Brent would get home from work so I could hand him off. sad, but true. though crazy as it seems - all that misery really made me love him something fierce. :)
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